5 a.m. Dark outside. Quiet. Just me, my feet, and my thoughts. For lack of a better word, it’s a “zen” moment. I’ve been having a lot of those recently.
Warning: the following paragraphs may be a bit
warm-fuzzy-touchy-feely-just-short-of-silly. If that’s not you, there are
plenty of articles on the web about kitchen appliances, the stock market, and
how to stain your deck. If, however, you’re at home with the less quantifiable
side of life, then please read on.
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Johan Larsson, licensed by Creative Commons |
While I have not grown to love getting out of bed at an hour
when most sane people are enjoying a good night’s rest, I have grown to love
what unfolds when I begin to run before the rest of the world has awaken.
The air is quiet – all around me is so still that I sense the
slightest sound, the merest movement. The street lamps offer the only light to
break the blackness before me. The birds puncture the silence with their
pre-dawn conversation. And then I offer
my own contribution - the sound of feet on pavement. I begin to run.
Slowly at first. I’m not yet fully awake, and I would much
prefer a good cup of coffee to the twelve miles of putting one foot in front of
the other that lies ahead of me. I console myself with the thought of how good
that coffee is going to taste once I manage to get through this.
At first, each foot lands heavily on the sidewalk, laboring
sluggishly to make some progress. I try not to think about the next two hours
or the many hills I have yet to climb or the pain my leg muscles will feel. At
this point, I’m content just to move forward, employing my “mini-goals”strategy that I described a few weeks ago. I simply focus on running for the
next two minutes, then two minutes after that. Sometimes I just run from light
post to light post. If I think about anything beyond that, I’ll be tempted to
stop and ease back into the house for that cup of coffee.
Taking things a few steps at a time is a good strategy to
get through a run, especially when the mind and body are still begging to
return to a comfortable bed. Good, but not ideal. I’m getting the job done, but
nothing more. There’s no flow. I’m not, as they say, in the zone.
But I continue, nonetheless – light post to light post,
minute by minute. I still have only the light of the street lamps to guide me.
But I also have my own cheering squad – the birds’ conversations have swelled
into a chorus (or a cacophony, depending on one’s view point).
As the minutes pass by, gradually, almost imperceptibly, the
world announces the start of a new day. The street lamps recede, replaced by a
skyward haze that is neither dark nor light.
My town is still asleep, but it is beginning to stir as the
sun struggles to vanquish the haze. A paperboy gets out of a car to make his
morning deliveries. The sound of footsteps not my own comes into range, giving
me the satisfaction of knowing that at least a couple of other runners are also
crazy enough to be up at this hour.
I am running northward – toward Jerusalem. City of faith.
City of hope. City of peace. And for me, city of dreams – that I am running in
this special spot of the world, running where patriarchs and prophets, shepherds
and kings also trod, is as surreal as any dream could be.
I don’t notice exactly when I stop counting minutes and
streetlamps, but a moment stealthily arrives when I’m just running. My feet
connect to the earth. My breath connects to the air. My eyes connect to the
path before me. Everything is as it should be.
A bus engine revs. A few car headlights pass me by. Then,
the sound of more footsteps – not runners, but worshippers moving purposefully
toward the first early morning service.
I scale the crest of a hill, and as I descend the other
side, there it is before me – the sun is shimmering, half suspended over the
next hill in a swirl of purple-yellowish-grey light. The world is waking up.
An hour passes by, and I’m now running in a different
reality. From darkness to light. From stillness to busyness. Now, it is the
streetlamps that lay dormant and the birds who are silent as car horns blare
and children laugh as they trek to school.
I miss running in the quiet, but I’m almost done now. A few
minutes later and I’m sitting in my kitchen, luxuriating in the aroma of that
coffee as I take my first sips.
Like the coffee, life is not meant to be mindlessly gulped,
but deliberately savored. Sometimes step by step. Sometimes in a continuous
flow. Running in the just-before-dawn quiet has taught me how easy it is to
stop noticing the beauty of it all once the noise starts. If we’re not careful,
we can numb ourselves with the noise. We can get swept up by the din. We can
lose ourselves in the bustle that swirls around us.
And many of us do. A pity, because the bustle is not
reality. Our true selves lie beyond the din. Our purpose for being can never be
discovered in the noise. Sometimes it takes running in the quiet of 5 a.m. to
realize this.
I am running these five marathons for the amazing children and adults at the Israel Sport Center for the Disabled. We have set a goal of $5,000. Every donation of any amount makes a difference. Click here if you want to help us get to the finish line!
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I am running these five marathons for the amazing children and adults at the Israel Sport Center for the Disabled. We have set a goal of $5,000. Every donation of any amount makes a difference. Click here if you want to help us get to the finish line!
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