How To Know If Your Goals Are Too Small (Hint: They Probably Are)

(originally published August 30, 2015. My original blog, on Wordpress, was hacked in early 2016. All of the original posts, through January 2016, have been re-posted here on Blogger.)


I thought I was dreaming big, going way beyond my limits, reaching for the sky. To run five marathons within a year at age 50 is huge.

Or so I thought. It turns out that it’s not a big deal.

A neighbor recently loaned me UltraMarathon Man: Confessions of an All-Night Runner by Dean Karnazes. For some strange reason, my neighbor thought I’d be interested.  Never before has a book simultaneously inspired me and completely taken the wind out of my sails.

I used to think I was taking on something big. But compared to Dean Karnazes, running five marathons in a year is a stroll in the park. Compared to Dean Karnazes, even running five marathons in a month is a warm-up act.

Karnazes grew up an average student with above-average, although by no means off-the-charts, running talent. He worked hard at it and met with some success on his high school cross-country team. But after he was ridiculed by his high school track coach, he didn’t run another step for the next fifteen years.

Karnazes continued to work hard, though. In college, he still was an average student, but one who studied and studied, and then studied again. Karnazes didn’t think he was doing anything unusual, and sometimes was in awe of other students who seemed more gifted. That’s why he was so surprised to find out that he would be graduating at the top of his class. As my son likes to say about his basketball team, “Hard work beats talent – every time.”

Dean continued to work hard after college, achieving financial success in a sales career. But something was missing. When Karnazes turned 30, he had his mid-life crisis a bit early, wondering if there was something more to life than chasing after the next sales account. It turned out that that something was running.

He quickly picked up where he had left off fifteen years earlier, taking on a fairly rigorous running schedule. But things were to become more rigorous – much more.

While huffing and puffing up a hill near San Francisco, two young men bolted past him. As Karnazes continued to work his way toward the top, the two men ran down the hill and then sped past him to the summit again. Karnazes learned that they were training for the Western States 100, a beyond-grueling race through the mountains of Northern California held in the heat of the summer. Runners must traverse – you guessed it – 100 miles (actually 100.2, but who’s counting) through extreme weather, high altitudes, and some of the roughest terrain imaginable, ascending a total of 18,000 feet and descending 23,000 feet over the course of the race.

I don’t know about you, but if I came across two guys training for a race like that, I would wish them well, marvel at how some people can be a little crazy, and go back to what I was doing. Not Karnazes. He instantly decided that, yes, he too would get into peak condition to run the Western States 100.

Death Valley, site of the Badwater 135 mile run

To put this in perspective, running the Western States 100 is like running close to four marathons back to back under conditions that most marathoners will never see. Karnazes did what he had always done - he worked hard and got himself into shape for the race. he not only completed it, but over the following decade, ran nine more of them. He then ran Badwater a few times. Billed as "the world's toughest footrace," Badwater covers 135 miles, beginning in Death Valley, California, the lowest point in North America, and ending at the top of Mount Whitney. Oh, and the race takes place in late July when conditions in Death Valley are so extreme that the soles of a runner's shoes can actually melt from the heat of the pavement.

No, Karnazes didn’t stop there. Casting about for an even greater challenge, he found a 200-mile relay race. For the uninitiated, a relay race is run by a team of runners. Each runner covers a certain number of miles, meeting the next runner at a designated point, who then runs a set number of miles, and so forth until the team has collectively completed the full distance.

Not Dean Karnazes. He ran the race as “Team Dean,” comprising a team of one and covering the full 200 miles by himself. And yes, he also ran that race more than once. He even once finished the 200 miles and then turned around and ran an additional 26.2 miles – the distance of a full marathon.

As I said, reading about a guy who can run across entire states has been a downer, Actually, it’s ruined me. The other day, I went out for what I used to think was a long run – 2 ½ hours, about 15 miles. Some days, the running is harder than others, and this run was a struggle. So there I am, at about mile nine, berating myself because I need to work so hard. Before, I would have told myself that a little struggle is to be expected on a long run like this.

But now – now, I’m telling myself, “Come on. It’s only a 2 ½ hour run. It’s just fifteen miles.” Now I’m thinking that five marathons isn’t a big deal, and a training run that is over ten miles short of a marathon should be easy.

Yes, ruined me – but for the same reason, inspired me. If a guy with a bit of running talent can rack up over 200 miles in one go, then I, with no running talent, can probably manage 26.2 miles five times.

Don’t worry. I have no plans to run 200 miles, or 100 miles, or 50 miles, or anything beyond a marathon. The thought that my shoe treads could melt in the heat of Death Valley doesn’t particularly interest me, for some reason. I have plenty of obstacles to overcome just running five marathons. I don’t need more.

But all the same, I’m blown away by the thought that a human being could actually do this and live to tell about it. Learning about Dean Karnazes confirms my belief that we can accomplish exponentially more than we think we can – and not only in the physical realm, but in every part of life.

To take on a goal that seems beyond you isn’t easy – but it’s necessary if you want to get the most out of life. Or as Dean Karnazes puts it: “If you’re not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you’re not constantly demanding more from yourself – expanding and learning as you go – you’re choosing a numb existence. You’re denying yourself an extraordinary trip.”

Ok – I’m pushing, I’m pushing. And I fully plan to make it through these five marathons. Beyond that, I have all kinds of goals (that have nothing to do with running marathons). In the past, when I’ve set a goal, I would ask myself whether I could achieve it. I’m slowly realizing that that’s the wrong question. The question to ask is whether the goal is big enough in the first place, or whether I should be shooting even higher.

So what about you? What are your biggest goals? What are your greatest dreams?

Not sure if you could achieve them? As Dean Karnazes says, “Dreams can come true, especially if you train hard enough.”

 _________________________

I am running these five marathons for the amazing children and adults at the Israel Sport Center for the Disabled. We have set a goal of $5,000. Every donation of any amount makes a difference. Click here if you want to help us get to the finish line!

The Big Secret to Getting It Done (Whatever "It" Is)

(originally published August 6, 2015. My original blog, on Wordpress, was hacked in early 2016. All of the original posts, through January 2016, have been re-posted here on Blogger.)

I woke up before 5:00 this morning. I am not at all a morning person. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I’d like to be a morning person. But I hate mornings. I’ve tried all kinds of strategies to get out of bed and avoid that snooze button. I’ve put my alarm clock clear across the room so I would have no choice but to get out of bed to turn it off. I’ve set two alarms. I’ve tried stretching immediately upon awakening. Breathing exercises.  Mind games like telling myself I only have to stay awake for 5 minutes and can then go back to bed if I want (I usually do).

I wish I could to say I’ve figured it out. At best, I’ve had mixed success. Most mornings, that snooze button is too tempting to resist. I aspire to be a morning person. But I’m not.

Yet there I was, out of the house and starting a two-hour run long before the sun had thought about making an appearance. And wondering how I pulled it off.

I think I know how I pulled it off. I had no choice.

My neck of the woods saw an extreme heat wave this week, making day time running unsafe and unwise. I usually run at night, when temperatures have begun to taper. But this week, the heat was so intense that even a night run would have been grueling.

If I wanted to continue my marathon training schedule, my only option was to get up very early and try to beat the sun. But I’m not a morning person. It’s hard enough to get out of bed when that alarm goes off. To attempt getting out of bed with the thought that I will soon be running up and down hills is a setup for failure.

But I got up just the same. I have no doubt I would have been more comfortable lying in bed for another hour. But then I wouldn’t be doing what I need to do to get in shape for these marathons.

I managed to do this once before, toward the beginning of the week, creating a sense of hope that I could pull off this early morning routine for as long as the heat wave would last. Only two more runs this week, I told myself. But then the next day, that snooze button worked its magic. And the day after that.

This morning, I found myself staring, not only the snooze button, but prospect of a week gone by without doing what I must to get in shape for Marathon number 3.

So I got up. I ran. I lived to tell about it. And now, I only need roll out of bed before the sun once more this week.

I’d like to write something flowery about how less than ideal situations can create new opportunities. Because I had to run in the early morning, I got the chance to experience the calm stillness of my town before it awoke. I got to see a beautiful sunrise over the mountains. I got to start my day knowing I had already finished my run.

I did enjoy the quiet and the sunrise and feeling of accomplishment at the beginning of the day. Still, I would much rather have enjoyed a little more sleep than get up at a crazy hour. What I did learn was, I think, much more valuable.

I did it because I had to, because I had no choice if I was going to accomplish the goal I have set for myself. All of us can accomplish exponentially more if we think we have no choice.

When you have a 7 a.m. flight, you just get up in the middle of the night, at a time you would never consider otherwise, so that you can get to the airport on time. If you don’t, you’ll miss your flight. More dramatically, we’ve all heard the stories of the slender woman who manages to lift a car off the ground to save her baby trapped underneath. She has no choice. If she wants to save her baby, she lifts the car. She doesn’t stop, as she would in any other circumstance, to consider whether it might be too heavy.

We don’t need a crisis, however – or even an early morning flight – to go beyond what we perceive to be our limits and accomplish things we otherwise would not do. A friend of mine has just started work on a second book. The book will require hundreds of hours of research, poring through archival materials in a foreign language, and then another few hundred hours of writing. That is in addition to the work required to get an agent and publisher and promote the book. He has a full-time job, a family, and a robust side business. How will he pull this off? I don’t know how, but I know that he will. Because he did it with his first book. As he said to me, “When you have the bug to do it . . . .”

Most of us don’t live this way. We think we have time. There’s always tomorrow. But what if we decided that we simply must find a way to achieve those dreams we’ve always had?  If we felt we had no choice, we’d find a way. We’d get up early. We’d do the work when we’re tired. We’d cut something else out of our schedule. We’d get creative.

As the famed composer and conductor Leonard Bernstein once said, “To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time."

When we stop to consider it, we really don’t have a choice, and we don’t really have enough time. We have one life. We can accomplish what we want with it – or not. If we want to achieve our dreams in this lifetime – then we have no choice and limited time. And we’ll find a way to get it done.

Living a life based on achieving our dreams is much more inspiring than retreating to the comfort of the moment. I’m going to try it. I might just get rid of that snooze button once and for all.

 _________________________

I am running these five marathons for the amazing children and adults at the Israel Sport Center for the Disabled. We have set a goal of $5,000. Every donation of any amount makes a difference. Click here if you want to help us get to the finish line!

The Jerry Seinfeld Guide to Running a Marathon

(originally published July 29, 2015. My original blog, on Wordpress, was hacked in early 2016. All of the original posts, through January 2016, have been re-posted here on Blogger.)

Running a marathon is easy.

Yes, that’s right. Actually, virtually anything can be easy – it’s all in the approach.

In last week’s post, I shared the stories of three amazing young people who have achieved mastery in their sport, despite physical obstacles that would stop most of us in our tracks. In the post before that, I shared the stories of three people who overcame several other kinds of obstacles to accomplish the seemingly impossible – a 100-year old marathon runner, a 102-year old who earned her doctorate, and a woman who led the Harvard women’s basketball team to an NCAA championship despite starting her coaching career with zero knowledge of basketball.

To paraphrase what several readers have told me after reading these blog posts – That’s all well and good. Now, what about the rest of us mere mortals?

We watch a 100-year old man run a marathon, or a teen with only one leg compete seriously as a swimmer, and we cannot help but marvel at what one human being can achieve. But we tend to view those cases as exceptions, convinced that they must have special powers unavailable to the rest of us.

I’ll let you in on a secret. They don’t possess any super powers. They’re mortal, just like you and me. What they possess is a particular outlook that enables them to achieve greatness, despite the very real obstacles that stand in their way. The rest of us have this same ability – with the right approach, we can accomplish whatever we want.

That is why a marathon – or any other big goal you might wish to accomplish – is easy. And if not easy, then at least achievable.

So what is the secret sauce? There are a few sauces that people use to achieve seemingly impossible goals – certain sauces work better for some than others. Here’s mine: Do very little.

Yes, that’s right – to accomplish a lot, do very little.

Before you move on to someone else’s blog in search of less ridiculous advice, stay with me for a few more paragraphs.

To go from the kind of person who was told as a kid he would be saddled with special orthopedic shoes for the rest of his life to a person who is running five marathons at the end of his fifth decade (more about that in a future post), I’ve employed a variety of approaches. Some are specific to my running form. Some involve time management. Some involve working on the way I think. But the approach with the single greatest impact is to do very little.

In his book, Mini Habits, Stephen Guise puts forth the idea that we often fail to start working on our goals because they seem overwhelming. We don’t start the workout, because an hour of exercise seems daunting. We don’t start the writing assignment because it seems too big. We never follow that dream of owning our own business because all the details seem overwhelming.

Guise posits that we can overcome our lethargy and our fears by picking a goal that is so small it almost seems silly. Don’t commit to a full workout program. Just commit to doing one push-up. Don’t commit to writing the article. Commit to writing 50 words. Don’t commit to starting your own business. Commit to spending 5 minutes a day gathering information about starting a business. When the goal is so small it seems ridiculous not to do it, then go ahead.

What value is there in one push-up, 50 words, or 5 minutes on a project? A lot, actually.

First, the biggest problem for most of us when we try to accomplish something is getting started. If you make the goal small enough, you can get started. If you do that every day, you will develop the invaluable habit of being able to start easily.

Second, chances are good you will do more than your small goal. If you only do one push up, or write 50 words, then you’ve completed your goal and you at least are developing the habit of starting and consistently taking action. But usually, once you are down on the ground doing one push-up, it’s pretty easy to do a few more. Once you’ve opened up the document to write just 50 words, it’s pretty easy to keep going and write a few hundred.

By doing this consistently over time, you will be able to move mountains, even when you don’t feel like getting out of bed.

Really, it works. I’ve trained for marathons this way. When I have a long training run ahead of me, I often start talking myself out of it – I’m tired. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. It might be better if I did my long run tomorrow.

At moments like this, I employ the mini-habits strategy. I tell myself that I don’t have to commit to running. I will just commit to putting on my running clothes. Once my running clothes are on, I decide to put on my running shoes, but not make a commitment to run in them.

As long as I’m dressed for running, I agree that I can walk out the door, again not committing to actually running. Once I’m out the door, I commit to running for only two minutes, and then I’ll see how I feel. After two minutes, I’ll agree to run another two minutes, and then another. Sometimes, I run only to the next utility pole, and then the next, and the next.

I have completed eighteen-mile runs this way. I have even finished marathons this way – when the last two miles seemed like two hundred, I have committed to taking just five more steps, and then five more, and then . . . . the finish line comes into view.

You can apply this strategy to virtually any goal – especially the ones that seem so big you can’t quite get started.

The key is to do it consistently. If you don’t believe me that this strategy works, then at least believe Jerry Seinfeld. Seinfeld’s secret to becoming a successful comedian was revealed in an article years ago on Lifehacker. When an aspiring young comic asked Seinfeld for tips, Seinfeld told him that the way to become a good comic is to have better jokes. The way to have better jokes is to write jokes every day.

Seinfeld told the young comic to post a full-year calendar on his wall, and then get a big red magic marker. Mark each day in which the task of writing has been completed with a big red X. 

Seinfeld said:

"After a few days you'll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You'll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain." "Don't break the chain," he said again for emphasis.

That, in essence, is the mini-habits strategy. Find a daily goal small enough that you can’t fail to start it. And then do it without fail.

Try it. You’ll be amazed by the results.

_________________________

I am running these five marathons for the amazing children and adults at the Israel Sport Center for the Disabled. We have set a goal of $5,000. Every donation of any amount makes a difference. Click here if you want to help us get to the finish line!

Three Reasons You Could Achieve So Much More (No Matter How Much You're Doing Already)

(originally published July 9, 2015. My original blog, on Wordpress, was hacked in early 2016. All of the original posts, through January 2016, have been re-posted here on Blogger.)

Running five marathons in a year has become my metaphor – my symbol of going beyond myself, beyond my perceived limitations, beyond the obstacles I had previously thought were insurmountable.

As I train for Marathon number 3 (which will likely be in Athens in November), the metaphor of the marathon is beginning to spill over to other areas of my life. (Although, to be candid, after around mile 20 of a 26.2 mile marathon, the notion of “metaphor” fades away as every muscle in your body tells you in no uncertain terms that this is not symbolic, but very real – and a little painful). When I ran Marathon number 1 in Jerusalem back in March, I wondered if I was a bit crazy to think that I could actually run not one, but five marathons – not during my lifetime, but in the course of one year.

I may be a little crazy – but not to think I could run five marathons in a year. Now that I have two under my belt, run within seven weeks of each other, the idea of running five no longer seems at all daunting. As someone who for years wouldn’t dare run more than three miles, then worked up to a 10K, then, with some trepidation, a half-marathon, and then a marathon, and finally, multiple marathons – it’s starting to hit home how many things I could likely do that I never thought possible. 

Not just running. Everything. Learning a language. Becoming financially independent. Traveling the world. Writing a few more books. Even getting up early – and even getting through that perennial pile of papers on my side of the bed/

It’s all possible.

And this, dear reader, applies to you, too. Whatever you’re doing, you’re capable of more. We all have goals that we preface with “I wish I could . . .” “I’d like to . . .” and “If only . . .” Those goals are (with few exceptions) all possible, as long as you find a way to remove the obstacles that begin with “I could never . . .” “I can’t . . .” and “It’s too hard for me to . . .” Often, the internal blocks are more formidable than the external reality.

How do I know this? As I’ve trained for these marathons, I’ve not only experienced it personally. I’ve also discovered numerous people who have achieved the seemingly impossible.

So here are three reasons – three living examples – why you can accomplish more than you think:

YOU CAN RUN AS FAR AS YOU WANT

You want to get in shape - but it seems too hard. You say you're too old for this. Or you've been sitting on the couch eating potato chips for so long that it's difficult to change now. You might think twice after watching Fauja Singh.

Fauja was born in India in 1911. A birth defect prevented him from walking until he was five. In his late 80s, distraught following the death of his wife and one son, and in his own words feeling "more dead than alive," he took up running. In his 89th (!) year, Fauja ran his first marathon. Ten years later, he was still running, becoming the first 100-year old marathoner by completing the Toronto Marathon. And that wasn't his last race. When he finally stopped running at age 102, Fauja said:

"I have retired because given my age, my body has deteriorated a bit, but retirement hasn't slowed me down. I lead a very active and healthy life. I walk for three to four hours a day, play with kids and do all my day-to-day chores myself. I might have continued to run for another year but I realized I had to eventually retire one day."

This is coming from someone who began life with a birth defect that prevented him from walking. So, the next time you feel like you don't have the energy to exercise, think about how many years Fauja Singh has on you.

YOU CAN LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU WANT

Maybe your goals aren't athletic. You'd like to go back to school or learn a new skill. But it's just not possible - family, time constraints, and the older you are, the harder it is to learn something new.

Tell that to Ingeborg Syllm-Rapoport. Earlier this year, at age 102, she received her Doctorate from Hamburg's UKE University Medical Center. She was supposed to have sat for her final examination for her Doctorate nearly 80 years ago, but was barred from doing so by the Nazis.

Dr. Syllm-Rapoport is a neonatologist, and wrote her thesis on diphtheria in 1938. Of course, medical science has experienced a few advances since then. To help her fill in the gaps, friends Googled the developments in diphtheria of the past eight decades.

Following her exam in May, the Dean of the medical school described Rapoport as "simply brilliant. We were impressed by her intellectual alertness and speechless over her expert knowledge, even in the area of modern medicine."

Now, what was that you were saying about how you'd like to learn something new but it's just too hard?

YOU CAN BECOME WHATEVER YOU WANT

Perhaps whatever your goal, you don't think you have the experience or the knowledge. You don't have the connections or the finances. You don't know what you're doing and you can't imagine how you could see your way to success.

It's time to imagine differently.

Just look at Kathy Delaney-Smith. Growing up in a working class Boston neighborhood, she rose to become one of the most celebrated coaches in women's college basketball. Only - when she started coaching, she knew zero about basketball.

When Delaney-Smith applied to coach the women's swim team at a Massachusetts high school, they hired her with the stipulation that she would also coach basketball. Starting with no knowledge, she read every book and attended every clinic she could. And she rigorously applied what is known as the "act as if" philosophy - with herself and her players. Over the next decade, she coached her team to 204 wins and a state championship prompting a call from Harvard.

Famous for its academics, Harvard is hardly an athletic powerhouse. Yet, Delaney-Smith plowed on with her "act as if" method, prompting Harvard's women's basketball team to go from a 4-21 record when she arrived to "acting as if" they could win the NCAA tournament in the first round from number 1 seated Stanford (and actually winning it).

Then she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Delaney-Smith applied the same "act as if" philosophy to her disease, never missing a practice no matter how she felt, and ultimately making a full recovery.

Now, what was that goal you said you were sure you could never accomplish?



Not everyone wants to run a marathon when they are 100 (or at all), or go back to school in their later years. Not everyone wants to become a top basketball coach. But every one of us has goals and dreams that often seem too big for us. Every one of us has a vision of greatness hidden away somewhere.

If you don't think you can, look at Fauja Singh, or Ingeborg Syllm-Rapoport, or Kathy Delaney-Smith. Or the literally hundreds of other equally inspiring examples I've come across over the past few months. Or the amazing people at the Israel Sport Center for the Disabled (whom I will feature in an upcoming post).

Robert Kennedy, echoing George Bernard Shaw, once said, "Some men see things as they are and say, why. I see things that never were, and say, why not?"

Whatever you think you can do, you can do much more.

_________________________

I am running these five marathons for the amazing children and adults at the Israel Sport Center for the Disabled. We have set a goal of $5,000. Every donation of any amount makes a difference. Click here if you want to help us get to the finish line!